Scenes Around Russia

Monday, March 12, 2012

Russian Women Versus American Women



        For decades men from many countries, at one time or another, have considered the idea of Russian brides. Why aren't they content with the women in their own country?  There are plenty of beautiful women in every culture all over the world. Why do some men look outside their country for their ideal mate? Are Russian women really so beautiful that men all over the world prefer them to the ones they meet in their own country? Maybe beauty has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's because Russian women have a more traditional view of the relationship between a man and a woman. Maybe some men like the notion that they might be rescuing a woman from the oppressive lives they have to live in Russia. If you believe Russians need rescuing know this; while there may be many people who would like to leave Russia, in general they are very proud of, and love their culture and do not need to be rescued from it.  Even if they are seeking better economic conditions outside of Russia, most have no intention of completely abandoning their roots. Or maybe you're in the camp of those who believe it's only desperate men, incapable of winning the heart of a woman in their own country, who seek Russian women that are eager to settle in a country with a better standard of living. Well there are lots of men, especially from America, marrying women from countries like Russia, the Philippines, or China, and so on. Are these men all such losers that no woman in America would have them? Is it possible something has happened in the American culture to turn these men off?  My 3 years experience in Russia has given me an inside look into Russian culture. This site will give you my take on relationships with Russian women and hopefully explain the lure, and how to have a successful relationship if you meet a Russian woman.


        Why Not Marry American?
 
        I am sure one aspect of the attraction to foreigners is simply because it's exciting being with someone from another culture.  It's not just men who find this exciting by the way. While it can be very exciting, it, at the same time can make for a more challenging relationship if you don't fully understand the culture you are marrying into.  It's one thing to be curious and explore another culture, but making a lifetime commitment and starting a family is something else.  Despite cultural differences, this is what I see happening on a seemingly increasing scale.  I noticed Russia was flooded with foreigners looking to meet a good Russian woman when I lived there.  Quite a few men I worked with over there were thinking about, or committed to, leaving their countries to live out the rest of their lives in Russia with their new love.

        So why are more and more men choosing a Russian bride over an American bride?  Part of the answer lies with the culture America has evolved into. We have become a culture where we teach our kids that they are great no matter what and never have to know failure or humility. I believe this creates a culture of elitists who believe they deserve everything and nothing is ever good enough for them. This is not an attack on women, I see this in both sexes in America. There is nothing wrong with failing at something once in a while. I see no benefit to raising a child to think they are better than everyone else and deserve only the best even if they are mediocre at achieving it. I think hard times and failures build character. It's just a part of life we learn to accept. Now these kids who were raised to understand they are the best person in the world and can do no wrong, are getting to an age when people start thinking about marriage.

         Living and working in Russia allowed me to feel like a part of the culture while I was there. It's hard to put into words exactly what I felt as my understanding of their culture deepened, but I will try. When I compare life in America today to how it was 40 plus years ago I feel sad sometimes. I think with all our technological advancements and the American mindset to always be driven for success, we are losing our core values. When I was young I felt like I always knew who to trust. Who was a friend and who wasn't.  These days it's getting harder for me to distinguish. People are more interested in advancing their career or buying the next new gadget than maintaining close relations.  I got caught up in this way of thinking over the years too. I was no better than the next guy putting toys and work before everything. Things changed for me around 12 years ago when I was lucky enough to meet a Russian family living in America. I became very close to this family and actually lived with them for a couple of years. They changed my whole perspective on life. After getting to know and love this family, I just had to see this culture in their native land.  When the opportunity presented its self, I got an ESL certification and moved to Russia. I was there from 2007 until 2010. It took me a lot of time to adapt and understand the culture but I am glad I made the effort.



Sexy vs Sex Appeal

        Are Russian women really so much sexier than other women? If you think so, is it because they are just genetically designed in a way that most people find them more attractive?  Russian people in general are a very good looking in my opinion. The men who take care of themselves are strong and handsome looking.  The women take good care of themselves and love to look nice. Like Americans, Russians have genetic influence from many cultures, so you will find there really isn't a specific feature one could claim as Russian looking. What each of us thinks is good looking is a matter of personal preference. We develop our sense of what is or isn't attractive in our childhood. I don't want to get into the whole psychology of why we are attracted to certain types, but I will note that there does seem to be certain looks that are more  commonly thought to be appealing. Dare I say, some cultures seem to have a higher percentage of attractive people than others?

        So, are Russian women sexy, or do they have sex appeal? What's the difference between them. Sexy is more about a person's appearance and less about their attitude. Anyone who tries to stay in good physical condition, and pays attention to fashion, can look sexy.  Sex appeal is all about attitude. I don't think a person has to have great features to have sex appeal. Have you ever had a situation where you were not attracted to a person at first but after getting to know them you wanted to be with them? Conversely, have you ever been intensely attracted to someone but after you got to know them better you couldn't even think about touching them? I think people have different ideas about what looks sexy, but most people will agree that sex appeal comes from within a person.

          What attitudes do men prefer and which are a game stopper? I can't speak for all men but I have to wonder if men are starting to look for more feminine qualities in a woman.  Because of the sexual revolution America undertook, people are not always sure what role to play in a relationship. Men are taking on more feminine behaviors and women more masculine behaviors. I think most men were all for it because it meant women were freer to be promiscuous without worrying about being labeled in a negative way. I see a trend in America going back to people being more monogamous, which is a good thing for our society.  The gender role reversal or gender melding that has taken place may be good in some ways and not so good in others. I hear women all the time talk about how they like a man to be rugged and muscular but 20 or so years ago that was thought to be barbaric and women sought more intellectual men who could get in touch with their feelings. Now they want both which is a good thing really. People need to follow their instincts more. It should be a huge red flag when a society needs books by love professors, or magazines like Cosmo, to tell them how to do what should be our most basic instinct, find love. For a while it seemed like men were supposed to sacrifice their masculinity to attract a woman. Men have similar wants about the women they seek. Some men like the athletic type while others like the beauty queen type but in either case, I think men prefer to be in the traditional role of a man and liken woman be in the traditional role of a woman. It doesn't mean women are the lesser sex if she allows her feminine side to show more. It just means she is strong enough to compete in any business situation and feminine enough to wow any man.

        When I said women in America might be taking on some masculine characteristics what exactly did I mean? This is a tough concept to explain without sounding critical or condescending. One thing I learned during a marriage counseling session was about body language. We all know body language is 80 or 90 percent of communication. Sometimes a man can display a posture towards his woman that may be perceived as threatening.  The man may not even know he is doing it. Women have changed their body language over the years and probably don't realize it. Many women don't think about how they hold their arms for example when talking to someone. There are certain hand and arm gestures that are typical of men and some that are typical of women. Women are carrying themselves more like men these days. They have become more like men in the way they walk and gesture. It used to be normal for a woman to learn social graces that are more feminine. How to walk for example with short steps and poise. High heels were popular because it made men turn their heads, although I will never understand how women did it all those years. Things changed when all this awareness came out about feminism.  Women were influenced by the liberation movement to act more like men to get respect in America. I think the movement missed the target on that point a little. I think equal rights could have been introduced without completely changing how a woman carries herself. Some women are quick to criticize men for pointing out any little thing about women they don't like, but women have all kinds of demands on how a  man should be. The reason I pointed these things out is because of what I witnessed living in Russia. Women there are stronger than the men in so many ways. Men there can be like little boys and the women have to keep them in line. Women there hold good jobs, raise kids and keep the household together. Russian men aren't as willing as American men to share in the domestic duties. I was often criticized by my Russian girlfriend for doing domestic chores, but that criticism soon turned into appreciation. No matter how much responsibility the woman has on her shoulders or what age she is, she always wanted to be treated as the weaker sex by a man. I say weaker sex not because I see it that way, it's the only way I can think of to express how Russian women want their man to treat them. Inside I am sure the women know they are not weak, but they know how men respond to being put in a position of being the hero or protecting his woman. At first I thought this was phony crap just to manipulate men, but then I noticed something. I started to feel better than I had in a long time in a relationship. I liked that a woman depended on me for certain things. I think that's how men and women complement each other.

         I should mention that I was married to a feminist years ago and was totally on board with the movement. Now I believe the pendulum has swung a little too far the other way. The thing that is interesting about the roles men and women play in America, as compared to Russia, is they know in Russia that it's an illusion to keep the other person feeling more like their gender is supposed to. In America couples laugh at this behavior. It's as if Americans have risen above the need to feel more manly or more womanly. Intimacy in America has become impersonal and mechanical in my opinion. It's like people see it as a chore that had to get done. I am not saying there is never passion, but it quickly turns into a routine without passion. What I felt in Russia was hard for me to understand in the beginning, but I became more interested in intimacy, it's like my testosterone level had changed. America has become more unisex like and now people take pills or injections to compensate for their loss of drive.

        I personally find most cultures have attractive people, but Eastern Europeans seem to be the culture that draws me the most. Maybe it's because of my Italian heritage. I find there are many parallels between Russians and Italians in attitude, family values and their emphasis on food. Being raised in an Italian family dinner time wasn't just a means to get some nourishment. It was usually an event that required a lot of planning and preparation. Grandma was always proud of what she was able to put together for dinner every day. Everyone participated in the preparation for dinner and looked forward to the social event. The dinner table invariably ended up being the nucleus of this weekly affair and lasted well into the evening. When I was lucky enough to be invited to some dinner events in Russia, especially at holiday time, the gatherings were always warm and full of energy while everyone shared stories. This is how I remember get-togethers being when I was growing up. I miss those kinds of bonding times with friends and family in America. People are always too busy for relaxed quality family time.  I think this plays into a big part of why I am drawn to Russians.

        After reading my thoughts and experiences on Russian women if you are interested to learn my ideas of having a successful relationship with one, check out my post on Understanding Russian women.










47 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for this blog. You put into words how I have felt for many years now. I lived in Vladivostok, Russia for a full 2 years as a missionary almost 10 years ago. I believe this explanation is one of the reasons that I long to go back. I'm currently in the process of trying to get back there. I previously taught english for free when I lived there and performed a lot of goodwill service. I was lucky to be able to learn the Russian language and was looked at as being well versed and fluent by my Russian friends. having been 10 years ago, some of my language skills have diminished and I want to get them back. I love the Russian people and the culture. I cant seem to access your "understanding Russian women" link. It says I don't have access. If you could please help me in that regard it would be much appreciated. Thank you once again

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello, thanks for the compliments. I haven't published Understanding Russian Women yet because I got bogged down with school after I wrote this page. I was also insulted by some female readers on Dave's ESL Cafe about my blog so I felt I wasn't a good writer. Another reason I haven't worked on this because there didn't seem to be much interest.

      I love the Russian culture too. I was only there a few years and have been back in the USA since 2010. I miss the friends I made there and some parts of the lifestyle. Maybe you have motivated me to write again. I will keep you posted.

      Delete
    2. Such a coincidence; I, too, lived in Vladivostok as an exchange student!

      Delete
  2. Hello again and thank you again. It's sad that you had criticism, but I think that it only supports your thoughts on this matter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi. I really appreciate your blog. )) I was trying to read "Understanding Russian Women", but it won't allow me to view the page. It says that my current account can't access it. Could you please help me, or copy, paste, and email the text to me? Thank you again, and thanks in advance for your help. )))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, its because its not published yet. I stopped writing about 6 months ago because I received some criticism for my work. I just figured I wasn't a good at blogging. I will have free time again soon so maybe I will complete that link to my site. Thank you for the kind words.

      Delete
  4. I really enjoyed reading this article, but I think I should point out a few things from an opposing/alternate point of view.
    I also lived in Russia for three years (1993 to 1996). I worked there for a bank, opened a bar for some associates, and still maintain my many friendships.
    I also know there is something definetly alluring about Russian woman, as I was in love with one, and dated others when we had broken up.
    I agree that Russian women maintain a role as a 'weaker' sex, but I don't think that is the appeal. I think the appeal comes from the general state of life there.....it is more social than we are here in the West. Here in the West, we think we are social because we go out to the bar and drink (or get drunk), but social has a very different context in Russia. You still go out, but it is usually to a park, or for a walk somewhere, or even to someone's apartment for tea.....and you talk (communicate), something we in the West have lost over the years.
    However, that said, I also find that Russian women (and men) can be quite promiscous. I'm not sure how you found them to be morale, because I found their morality severely lacking.....although, they would tell me that it is just life in Russia.
    I currently have a friend who is married to a man who cheated on her four years into their marriage (and presumably still does) They are no longer intimate, haven't been for years, and yet they are still living together as husband & wife. When I asked why she stays with him, she simply says, 'This is Russia.' I learned later that the real problem is divorced women usually end up alone, and it is very difficult to afford to live alone (in Moscow)
    Still, I saw this behaviour quite a bit when I was there....and not much as changed.

    That is not to say that Russia is a bad country, or that all the people are immoral, or lost, but I find that some people have a very 'rose coloured glasses' view of Russia, and Russian women, and as great as they are, they can also be every bit the opposite of that view.

    Personally, I find it rather disturbing that women there cannot live alone, or that there is some sort of stigma on women who divorce. But if you want to live in the 1500's, the I suppose Russia (or other Eastern bloc countries) would be the place to go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the great post. I didn't mean to suggest that I like that Russian women are the weaker sex. I suggested they play that role because they see it as a means to keep a man. I think we agree that the real lure to Russian culture is the quality time people spend together. In my blog I compared it to the Italian gatherings my family and friends had when I was young. I think this has weaned off in the West because wealth breeds contempt. People feel like they don't need to bond anymore because they are self sufficient. Couples become less tolerant of each other when they don't have to depend on their partner. This is not the case in Russia,yet. As you pointed out, life is very tough on women in Russia if they are single. It's something that may change in time but as of today it is very hard for women to make the same salary as men in Russia.
      As for the moral standing of Russians I don't think being promiscuous makes them completely immoral. I think promiscuity is rampant all around the globe. However, there is more to being moral than whether or not someone cheats on their spouse. I agree too many men and women cheat in Russia. I did notice a high level of promiscuity among married and single people. It wasn't that long ago that people in Russia could go to jail for having sex out of wedlock. My guess is the promiscuity we see today is a knee-jerk reaction to perestroika. As for the married people who cheat, I think it is a combination of things. As you mentioned people there stay together for financial reasons but live as if they are single. People are influenced by TV and Movies and get ideas that they deserve what they see on the screen. Men in Russia feel more manly I guess if they have multiple women. Women take on lovers because they are ignored and need to feel alive again. I think this happens in most countries. I agree with you, it is disturbing that Russian women think they need to be with a man to have a good life. It's just not so. We all want the fairytale relationship and to be adored but it's just not realistic. In contrast to some of the cheating we talked about, I witnessed a lot of moral behavior. I have to say I liked the family values I saw there. Parents care about their kids a great deal and they value family, friends and education. I met many happily married couples there and spent a lot of time with them. My experience for the most part is Russians were always straight with me. I never had anyone flake on me or lie to me, except the director of the school I worked at. Morally I see Russians no better or worse than Americans. I can't speak for other Western cultures because I have no experience with them. Thanks again for posting. I really enjoyed your take on Russian culture.

      Delete
  5. It's no coincidence that Feminist ideology and legislation was heavily bankrolled and promoted after America left the bretton woods system and gold standard in the 1970s. The dollar became fiat money supported only by the petrodollar and exporting inflation abroad to countries like China. The US became deindustrialized as major sectors like manufacturing were outsourced. The US economy is now based on more and more debt and consumption. The whole point of feminism was not equality but massive wealth transfer from men to women. The government has displaced men as the new surrogate husband/provider by heavily subsidizing women in everything from education, mandatory alimony/child support schemes, welfare, and employment quotas. Women were already the biggest spenders and consumers, so this would increase aggregate demand for consumer goods. This would also increase the tax base as well as keep wages across the board depressesed so they would not rise with inflation as central banks printed more money. Of course, dissolution of the nuclear family and abortion not only works as debt slave population control, but to effectively break up the identity and community of sovereign nations into aimless atomized masses. These once strong and prosperous countries, now destabilized and collapsed, can then be reconsolidated into larger political and macroeconomic blocs.

    It seems that the Russians, having experienced the human tragedy of Communism (also funded by international bankers)are actively resisting these subversive efforts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry it took me so long to reply to this but I have been tied up with full time school and work. While your post is a bit off topic from my blog it is very interesting. Do you have a blog where I could read more about your thoughts on what you have posted? I think it would make for a fascinating discussion.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  6. That’s so true Slavic women are soo gorgeous! I found lots of charming Russian Belarussian and Ukrainian ladies on Globo Girls. And even met one already.

    ReplyDelete
  7. As an American female who lived in Russia as an exchange student, I have to say I find your article very accurate and well written! I will always look back fondly on my time there, and the incredible lessons I learned... especially on things like femininity! Reading this made me "home"-sick... even though Russia is not my home haha.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hello,

    I have no experience with them. Thanks again for posting. I really enjoyed your take on Russian culture.

    Tourism to Russia

    ReplyDelete
  9. We all know it's not easy to protect your personal data and protect on dating websites but I tried globogirls.com and it's really trustworthy.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I really don't understand why people are always comparing Russian women and American women with each other. Actually, I hate it. I don't think Russian women aren't THAT great in many ways vise versa. We are all human beings and we are not perfect. Ever heard of 'Beauty is in the eye of the holder'?? Apparently not. It's the constant 'Russian women are better' and 'American women make terrible wives.' So what some women aren't as traditionally as others. There are good women and bad women in the world and the same thing goes with men. So, seriously, if you like and want a traditionally women, go find one, marry one, shut the fuck up and quit criticizing us!
    Yes, I am a woman from the US. American women are very beautiful and so are all of the other women in the world. This sort of thing angers me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously you didn't read my entire blog. I made many of the same points you did. I don't think Russian women are for everyone and I specifically said they are no more or less beautiful than women in other cultures. It was more about the differences in attitude. I suggested in my blog that attitude that I perceive is apparent in American men and women.

      I think the word traditional is a little misleading. It depends on what century people think of when they think about traditional women. I think Russian women are more inclined to be homemakers than most American women. However, it's not hard to find American women who like that lifestyle. Maybe the percentage is a little heavier in Russia but that was not the point in my blog.

      Why do you get angry when American women are compared to women of other cultures? I think it's great that American women are the bench-mark for the world to compare. Other cultures complain about American, but they always seem to want to be just like us.

      You obviously are a person of intellect, if you reply, please try to refrain from using foul language or making personal attacks. I think this makes for an interesting discussion.

      Delete
    2. I am from Ukraine, I have been living in USA 4 years, I am married American man and we are very happy. I experienced the anger of a lot of American women because they noticed that Americans men like me more then them. I couldn't socialized with Americans women as well because when we get together they like to criticized their husbands and boyfriends and to have disrespectful attitude to them, and if i commended something like '' husband is a head of a family'' they hated me for that.

      Delete
  11. This is a great conversation you're having here, and I've enjoyed hearing your experiences and theories on the subject. I agree enormously about the loss of gender, and the current state of confusion in the West. I'm moving to Russia for the first time in less than a month (Rostov-on-Don), and actually initially feared being categorized in with the Western men looking to date Russian women. My worry then led me to think about potentially dating one, and how it will be looked at by people back in America. Sure, I'm intrigued, but sense I'll have bad luck dating while there, and am trying to put off the idea all together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think you will have bad luck dating Russian women. Just don't try to force it. Be cautious of women that are too eager to get involved. Just take time to get to know the culture and see how they are. Get to know the Russians who love their country and culture and have no plans to leave. They are the ones that will become your best friends and be open and honest with you. They will be interested in knowing more about your culture because it's not easy for them to get exposure otherwise. Women who just wants to find a short cut to a green card will try to get you to fall in love quickly. Just take your time and get to know a woman first. Why do you think you will have bad luck? Don't try to date a woman with too much of an age difference. Find a common interest with anyone you want to become friends with.
      As far as what people back home will think about you dating Russian women there isn't much you can do about it. There seems to be a stigma about Russian women or mail order brides and so on. I think it's based on some isolated incidence where problems have developed. Either the woman was a scam artist or the guy thought he was buying a slave and treated the woman poorly. If your just looking for a relationship where there will be mutual respect and caring then you are way ahead of the game. Don't expect a Russian woman to be devoid of any pride. They have a lot of pride and demand respect. The hardest thing to learn is how to read their mood. Because of the cultural differences it's hard to read the signs. Like most people in a relationship they just want to be the center of each others' universe. I think Russian women more than American women, need to be continually reassured that they are the most important thing to you ,and there will be tests. Unfortunately these tests are usually pass or fail.
      I am not sure what you will be doing for a living there but don't expect things to as they are in the west. There is a different sense of urgency there when it comes to most day to day things. You will need to develop patience as most Russians have. Simple things like waiting for a scheduled train that never shows up. It's just something that happens. Take it stride and try not to stress. Russians don't worry over little things that go wrong. They have an expression you will probably hear from time to time, "It's Russia." Which just means expect things to go wrong. Good luck in Russia. You will be near the Black Sea, I hear its nice there.

      Delete
  12. *I must ask for excuse if there any mistakes in my comment*
    Thank you for your point of view!
    Being Russian by myself I'm getting mixed feelings of shame and embarassment for our men. The more I live the more I see how women desperately trying find someone to live with just because they don't want to stay alone. I don't think I can blame them. For some people in Russia single woman is an example of unlucky person. And not only for other women, who might get succeed in having family. I heard an opinion from one man, who was asked what would he choosed: a married woman or the one who is single? Both women are in their 30. In women's opinion it would be the second one, because she is free in that moment and may be open to relationships. But the man choosed the merried one, providing with the words: "If the woman in her 30 is single it means she doesn't need to anyone. If she doesn't need to anyone, I don't need her either." I was dissapointed by this words. It's like if the woman is single it means she's cursed. Even if she doesn't care about that state, almost everyone around act like something is wrong with her, that she is a damaged goods.
    *I must ask for excuse if there any mistakes in my comment*

    ReplyDelete
  13. I understood your post perfectly. Thank you for sharing. I think it is true that many Russian women find it necessary to be married or else they are perceived as a failure. I don't think women who choose to be alone are cursed, I think they have great strength. I think all people should be strong enough to stand on their own. Then when they do find a relationship they know they are in the relationship for love and not for convenience or financial security. It's a shame that there is so much pressure on women within the Russian culture. But I must also comment that I believe that is the appeal for many foreign men. There are more women in Russia that want to be the one who raises children and take care of the home. In the USA there is the opposite. If a man wants a woman who is happy to be a homemaker then he is considered a male chauvinist pig who doesn't respect women. The point is people should be free to pursue whatever lifestyle they want without criticism. There is so much pressure around the world to accept gay rights and other minorities but these same people who fight for the rights of those minorities criticize people who want a more traditional relationship.

    You shouldn't feel embarrassed for Russian men. I think there are many good men there. I think many of them find work for more money in other countries and leave. When I worked there I made friends with many men who I will consider friends forever. In fact I plan to go visit one Russian man and his wife soon in Vienna. I think the problem with many Russian men is they have too many women to choose from. Russian women are aggressive when it comes to finding a good man. So the men end up in situations where they can have multiple women. Then the women get hurt and leave the man. I think this happens in all countries. It's just easier in Russia because there are so many single women and they actively pursue men. Don't get me wrong though, women can be just as much to blame for problems in a relationship as men. It is not true all women are good and all men are bad in Russia. Relationship problems are the same in all countries. I also didn't mean to suggest all men have multiple girlfriends either. I met happy couples there who I am sure will be partners for life.

    If you don't mind sharing where in Russia are you from? The more I get to know Russia and Russian people the more interested I am in the culture. Who knows, maybe one day I will go back there to stay forever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the answer! I'm from Moscow, nothing special). But I wish someday to see the country in all her glory: the Syberia, Lake Baikal, the Far East Coast. Surely, it will be difficult, since we don't have a good travel industry, but I hope to gain a courage to make this journey. For now it's just a dream).
      I hope you will succeed in your wishes too!

      Delete
    2. I have a friend who ran a marathon accross Lake Baikal when it was Frozen. I hear it's beautiful there. I have seen a few cities too. The one that impressed me the most was Volgagrad. The war memorials and Mother Russia statue are amazing. Anyone who can visit these memorial and not shed a tear are just not human. I have seen Belgorad, Ryazan, Saint Petersburg, Tver, Sergiev Posad, Peridelkino, Tolstoi's estate in Yasnay Poliana, and more. (please excuse me spelling on these places) I recommend you see those. I would love to see Siberia too. I would love to see Vladivostok or Novosibirsk. although I have some photos of Siberia in my video on this page I have never been there. Although the women in video are all friends of mine except for two or three. Most of the other photos I took. I hope you will make the effort to see your country. It really is beautiful.

      Delete
  14. I am from Algeria, I like your post, I prefer Russian woman, for sure they look more feminine than the Americans, sometimes I think of visiting Russia, but I heard that they are little racists, beside I know for sure there is no better than our lifestyle in relation to family value and marriage, we are more conservative, and the woman and the man play there functional role as they should. To understand what I mean take a look to this video:
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpoVk396RCQ
    Thanks again for the post.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't think you would have any problem visiting Russia if you can get a visa. I think there might be racism there but I can't say for sure. I dated a Russian who was originally from Kazakhstan and had become a Russian citizen. She is from a Muslim family. I went to Mosque with her once on the anniversary of her mother's death. I listened to prayer in Russian and Arabic (I assume it was Arabic). I didn't understand any of the prayers.

    I never feel any pressure from any of my Russian friends about our relationship. I am not familiar with Islamic or Muslim faith or culture so I can't say if People from Algeria would be treated poorly there. There is a lot of diversity in Russia but there aren't the same cultural awareness efforts as in America.

    I am not sure what your purpose is for the link to the video but it doesn't seem offensive so I will leave it for anyone who is interested. It doesn't really connect with the topic of my blog but it does have to do with another culture, which is what I like about Russia. I like learning about cultures that are different from what I am used to.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow, you replay to me very fast, thanks for this blog, I am waiting for your next post, and I think you are good writer. I like to learn from the other cultures too. I have read this post and all the comment, don't worry if some people criticize your writing, because we will never could make all people satisfied.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Boy oh Boy. Why is it that every country I teach ESL in western men have to write a blog like this? Korean women, Japanese women, Chinese women, Kurdish women, Georgian women, and now Russian women are being written about like others write about restaurants and new cell phones. I have read it all.

    Ladies...I'm starting my own blog. Interested in hearing about Korean men? Don't be fooled by the freshly permed hair, the stylish man bags, and their intense interest in pop music (mine specifically loved Mariah Carey). Yes, they are interested in women and no, their, you know, are not as small as you've heard. Interested in hearing the scoop on Georgian men? I can sum up the experience in three words: food, wine, and hotel rooms. Also don't expect to be the only honey on his list, Georgian men don't roll that way.

    While I would most certainly say I am more masculine, more outspoken, and more independent than your average woman abroad, I have not found local men to be any less interested in me. No, I don't rely on men nearly as much as many foreign women do, but some foreign men find that refreshing. I disagree with a lot of what you said but I do agree that locals are interested in dating us expats because we're different and it's something they can talk about with their friends years from now, when they have most likely married a local as most end up doing. Plain and simple.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, thanks for posting, I like your perspective on the topic. Thank you for answering the age old question... size does matter. To answer your question, men write blogs like this because women are the center of their universe. Although many men would probably disagree with that statement I think it's evident because just about everything a man does is to win the affection of a woman. However, the one thing that most men don't do to keep a woman is listen to her needs or wants. Many men don't know how to listen to women. Most women, from all cultures, will never flat-out tell a man what they want. If they have to spell it out, then the man didn't care enough in the first place. Of course some men purposely tune women out because for them it's all about numbers. Like you mentioned about Georgian men not having just one woman. I think men do that in many cultures. It may have more to do with age and past experiences than culture. Although I am sure culture comes into play. I think of Italian and French men when profiling playboys. I think some women keep a rotating group of men in their life at one time as well. I think men and women do it for different reasons though. Men just like to feel wanted and have to keep proving it. Women may be doing because they are tired of being disappointed so they have backups in place. Although I have known plenty of women who just have strong sexual appetites that just enjoy the variety. And some women also do it because it makes them feel desired. I think men and women who have to be with multiple partners all the time to feel attractive are really doing it out of they own insecurity about who they are and what they have to offer.

      I think there are tons of men who want to be with strong less feminine women. In America and abroad. It's a personal preference for each individual. My whole life I was with strong athletic women. It's only in the last 5 to 10 years that I have changed my preference. I believe there is a particular type for everyone looking for a partner. The key is to know what you want and not just follow what happens to be the current trend because of some political or cultural movement. People should be free from criticism no matter what lifestyle they choose. Whether it's same sex, interracial , cross religion, masculine women, effeminate men or whatever. As long as it doesn't include bestiality or pedophilia.

      I would be interested to hear your thoughts on some of the points you mentioned that you disagree on. My blog is just one man's perspective on the comparison of American women to other cultures. It is just one aspect of many thoughts I have on the direction America has gone culturally. I was hoping to spark debate, so please post away. Keep all your posts as respectful as your first post please, it was a nice read. Feel free to post a link to your blog as well. I look forward to future posts from you.

      PS, I don't think I put women at the level of importance of a restaurant or cell phone. Do you really believe that most men, men who blog about women, only see women as a gadget in their life?

      Delete
  18. American people is very misinformed about other cultures because they only know stereotypes and have never really lived another culture. I am French and my wife is American (she has however, lived abroad and is very cultured). I must tell you that many of the things I read on internet complaining about American women is how many Europeans see Russian women lol. Russian women have a reputation for being controlling, money stealing and whorish in Europe. I'm sorry to inform you :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry it took me so long to reply to your comment. I don't like to generalize about any culture. I think you have made a generalization about Russian women and American women. I think there are controlling and money stealing women in every culture. I did live in Russia for three years. It is easy to distinguish the bad women from the good in just about any culture. I don't think Russian women are whorish, I think the ones that are aggressive who post on the Internet are likely to be. The good ones are working hard and living in Russia. The are proud of who they are and where they come from. Russian people are full of talent and ideas in spite of the oppressive governments they have lived under during their long history.

      Delete
  19. I think all people from a different country should stay were they are from.. It's not how beautiful russian women are comparing to American women the only reason thy want to come to the United States is to marry th and leave just to get in our states and have freedom I don't feel srry for any if them thy can stay ther

    ReplyDelete
  20. America was founded on people looking for a better way of life. None of us would be here if foreigners were not allowed to come here. Why do you feel now is the time to close the door to foreigners? I love being exposed to other cultures and exposing other cultures to what America has become. I am proud of America but I don't discount every other country as being second rate. There are many things that are better in other countries compared to America. I still think America is the best place to live overall though. It gives people the most opportunity to pursue the life they want. We have government bodies and other watchdogs that keep people safe from government and big business. It could be better but it is way better than what other countries have to deal with.

    If you read my entire blog I don't think Russian women are more beautiful physically. It's their attitude that makes them attractive. Of course you are right that many people want to come to the USA and marrying an American is the easiest way. There are many women who want to marry just for that reason. I think it is hard for a man to know the motives behind any woman, even American women, when it comes to love and relationships. Any man that doesn't understand why a young girl from another country would be willing to marry someone twice their age is very naive. But aren't most people looking for security in one form or another when they get into a relationship?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Lol I looked this up because I am meeting a Russian woman. She lived in America 15 years though; so I don't know if she's Americanized. She visits home once a year.
    What happened is that I put an ad up on Craigslist. I am a foot fetishist. So I put an ad pertaining to that. She answered. Stunning feet and well taken care of. She tans. People won't know she's Russian until she speaks. She doesn't judge folks based on color. I wanted to see how they like to be treated. Because if I meet her and we gain some kind of chemistry I'm bagging her. Her and only her. Depends on the personality first though.

    I have been to South America. I recommend that American men experience foreign women for once in life. I love my American women but many of them are selfish, deluded, and demanding, and not great at communicating. Going to the park or for a walk as a date? Lol yeah right. They'll be 'bored' with that one. In my line of dating it seems like they didn't want to necessarily get to know 'me' instead they wanted to know my living situations, wallet, and what I could purely offer them. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  22. I think, if the comparison between Russian women and American women is a funny thing. Because Russian women bearing characteristics, the beauty of Russian. Meanwhile, American women from different countries, with many synthetic beauties. There are many beautiful American women from Russia. I also think, all countries have a very beautiful women, and also very ugly.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I agree and have mentioned that in parts of by blog. There is really no "American" culture except the almost non existent North American Indians who were here first. The culture of America today is a mix of many influences for sure. I like your note about synthetic beauties. I don't like this about some countries who are obsessed with looks and alter who they are to be beautiful. I think beauty derives from attitude. Which I tried to express in my blog by saying Russian women are beautiful because of how understand what it means to be a woman.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Good post! Thats all are truth! Russian girls are fantastics - they are very strong, with a beautiful face and good sense of humour! Visit https://www.bridge-of-love.com/ if you want to meet them online!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I think russian brides are realy amazing! The have inner beauty

    ReplyDelete
  26. James Costa, Thank you for your post it has enlightened me to some degree. I wanted to address the topic of Russian women who are divorced and a single parent. Is the same mentality for all Social Economic Classes or do they vary with regard to how a single woman is viewed by the Russian Society?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Not an easy question to answer. I don't like to lump classes together but in general I can say I notice a difference between Russian and American women and how they handle divorce. It is easier for women to be independent in America than in Russia. Most Russians need two incomes to survive. Divorce laws and social support for American single moms is stronger in America.
    I noticed with Russian women nothing is more important than having a child. A husband is just a means to reach that goal. American women dream about the whole family unit and feel like a failure if they get divorced. It seemed to me more women in Russia had children from multiple men that I have seen in America. I remember one class of ESL students I was teaching in Russia. I tried to get a heated conversation going in the class by telling the women American laws are unfair to men when it comes to kids. I told them pregnant American women decide if they will give birth to the baby and the man has no say. I suggested to the class if a woman wants to give birth but the man wishes her to give up the baby to abortion, then the man should NOT be responsible to pay support. I didn't get the expected reaction I had hoped for. All the women agreed that was fair. If I asked that same question to a group of American women my life would be in jeopardy.
    I am not sure what you are hoping to learn but if you are looking to meet a Russian woman who has a child everything will revolve around the child just as in with American women. If you meet a woman who doesn't put her child first I would take that as a warning sign that she is not a good woman. There are good and bad women in Russia just as you can find in any country. The more you understand about Russian culture the better your chances of a successful relationship. Most of the women I dated had children. Their priorities are different than that of single women with no children. I expect that would be true in any culture.
    I have no experience with other countries to comment on how their culture behaves so this is all the perspective I can offer. Thanks for posting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I did think that there is no one answer. However, the one facet that I was unaware of was the attitude by Russian men about marriage and gender roles within that marriage. (This is just a single case I don't know if this is the social norm there in Russia). From conversing with a Russian woman she had advised me that when men are married the brunt of the responsibilities fall onto the shoulders of the woman, in this instance rearing the child, working, domestic chores and maintaining the financial reserves. As mentioned I don't (think) know if this is the consensus in relation to the majority of men there in Russia. I will say that she was very puzzled by our way of life here in the states. With regard to financial responsibilities placed so heavily upon men. Not that I am complaining, in a realistic world we all know it takes some form of finances to rear a child. I'm currently a graduate student of psychology and I must say my travels around the world in my former life have allowed me to view different cultures with a more objective state. The one attribute that is very different from American women compared to other cultures is the sense of self entitlement. From what I have seen and been exposed to, women from many different cultures tend to be focused on family all the while maintaining their feminine identity. There is some variation from society to society within a culture. Where we have transformed from a collectivistic society and morphed into a more individualistic one. It seems that masculinity and chivalry here in the US have all but been removed except for some small pockets. I'd like to pick your brain more about this subject is there another media that we can do this with? Thank you

      Delete
  28. Gender roles in Russia are ingrained in the Russian culture. I was lucky enough to be invited to the homes of many people in Russia. Happily married couples with kids. They were all the same. The man sits and entertains the guest while the woman prepares dinner. Kids do not sit or play with their father. All the interactions were with the mother. This one friend had 4 kids. She had to prepare the meal, take care of the kids and wait on us on top of it. I was sure to help with the cleaning up as that is ingrained in me as a 60-year-old American male. Same couple invited me to the forest for have a BBQ. The kids were all over me most of the time and the husband didn't really get involved. If I wanted to have a conversation with the father that was fine. He was happy to talk politics or business. This can be appealing to men in the beginning but I think most American men would feel disconnected if they couldn't be more involved with all aspects of making a home.
    I married a woman from Russia about 8 months ago, who now lives with me in the USA. I have known her since 2009 when her daughter was 7 years old. I expected to jump in as stepdad and wanted to help with school and adapting to American life. My wife wouldn't accept this because it's not the man’s place. She will not let me help with dinner or cleanup. There are jobs that men do but the woman can do everything, according to my wife. She painted the entire inside of my house. Of course, she welcomes any work I do related to repairs or working in the yard but kitchen is off limits. I am getting spoiled the way things are and feel like I can’t do enough to show my appreciation. I am sad I can't be more involved with the stepdaughters schooling but they are starting to change on that. I think they see how other families are.
    It’s not just women who have a sense of self entitlement, I think all Americans do. Most Americans think they have the right to everything. If we don't like the way something is we take someone to court. We can always find an unscrupulous lawyer to take a case and sue anyone for anything. Just look at the famous case of the woman who sued McDonald when she ordered coffee at the drive-through window and placed it between her knees. When she removed the top to add sugar to the coffee the cup was more easily collapsible so the pressure from her knees crushed the cup and coffee spilled all over her. She sued McDonalds and won millions because McDonalds made the coffee too hot. How crazy is that! If there is one thing I am ashamed of as an American, it’s that whole entitlement attitude and the idea that Americans feel they must be compensated for every bad thing that happens. Living in Russia really gave me a different perspective on the country I grew up in. I would recommend every American spend some time abroad.
    Chivalry is dead in America as are many other things I grew up with. It seems the liberal leaning Americans want to do away with anything that calls out your gender, religion or ethnic background. I guess they believe that will take away most incentives for people to fight. People usually fight over and wars breakout over those things. Next they will want to take way possessions so people have nothing to fight over. But then of course they will have nothing to motivate them and excel in life.
    I enjoy chatting but I prefer to keep the conversation on my blog in hopes of drawing more traffic to it. I hope you don’t mind.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Wow, your summation was right on point. People here in the US are so far removed from life it is unreal. The mentality of giving money to some charity for work conducted abroad as a "I did my part" is so out of touch with what is really happening around the world. As hard as it was, I did enjoy my time in the Balkans. I was fortunate to have worked with the Estonians, Danish, Spanish, Italians, French and Germans. I can vividly remember the Estonian guys reiterating to me that they were not Russian. I'll give you a little brief about why I asked my initial question: I had come across speaking with a woman from Russia by sheer happenstance and she began telling me about her life there in Kazan an area west of Moscow. In any event she has informed me that she is a divorcee and has a very young daughter. She lives with her mother and father and from what I can tell works two jobs. One as an instructor at a college there and the other in the banking industry. She has informed me that while married her life was as you described the only difference was from what has been conveyed to me was that her ex husband did not work and relied solely on her for everything. I do understand that women are the "homemakers" there in Russia but I don't think this is the normal situation. I have been contemplating about going there but I'll have to wait until I'm complete with this program. As to the source of media yes this is perfectly fine. Thank you for the reply.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I almost went to visit Tatarstan 4 or 5 years ago. I had a acquaintance in Nizhnekamsk that I was going to visit while on a break. At the last minute I ended getting a new job and couldn't travel.

    That's really cool that you had the opportunity to experience so many countries and cultures. I might do that in my retirement. My family history is Italian and I qualified under Italian law due to the timing of my father's birth and his fathers status to be recognized as an Italian citizen. A two year rather expensive process which finally paid off. The only step left is to get an Italian passport. I will wait until I am closer to retirement for that. If I have an EU passport than I can work anywhere in in the EU as and ESL teacher or whatever. It's a great way to be a part of a culture.

    I agree, not all Russian men are deadbeats. I met many men who were relatively westernized. There is still that underlying gender role though. Who knows, maybe I will live out my retirement life in a small village in Italy.


    I hope you can make it to Kazan, I hear it's an interesting city to visit. My understanding is it is very westernized and there is a large Tech industry there.

    ReplyDelete
  31. If you are seeking arrangements or elite dating online and want to do it in style, here is the right solution for you. Prestige Arrangements can ensure that you always have the best table at London’s top restaurants, entry to our Exclusive Single Parties in London, tickets for most popular shows at the London Theatre, or invitations for any other social events on the calendar.

    Our online services are tailor-made for your taste, while our respectful and professional attitude is widely known. We work very hard to provide the most advanced technological platform to cater for your lifestyle, so you can enjoy a great adventure in a new city or a romantic moment with a special person while having the best events and restaurants at your fingertips.

    JOIN TODAY

    Date Russian women

    ReplyDelete
  32. Interesting article. Thank you for sharing the information.
    Beautiful Russian woman

    ReplyDelete

Please feel free to leave a comment. While I invite opinions that may oppose the content of this site, I will delete any rude, disrespectful personal comments that are meant to attack anyone or a group of people. I will not tolerate foul language. Expect your comments to be deleted if you violate these conditions.